This is so funny, I just joined the facebook group 'You know you have been studying abroad in the UK for a while when...' they have the funniest most-honest list in the description. I have put my opinion in italic and bolded out the ones which I think are so so true:
1. One out of 4 words you hear in the streets is "fuck" or "fucking"
2. You have tried the symbol of British food, a breaded piece of fish with fries and they call it "fish & chips". (Actually I haven't tried that - and won't be trying that - because I don't like fish, but all the people I know had it and I even made my mother have it when she was here lol)
3. You see semi-naked girls in the streets and boys wearing t-shirts with temperatures below zero.
4. You are shocked to see that the Uni is closed, city is collapsed and people stranded if streets are covered with more that 5 cm of snow.
5. You have travelled to London just for 1 pound with a fun fare, and you love it. (Actually, I haven't done this yet, but my friends have...but it is on my list ;) )
6. You wake up every morning knowing that it's quite unlikely that you're going to see the sun.
7. You drink pints every day and you love them
8. You see people having a pee while they get money from a cash machine. (Actually, I haven't seen this yet :S but I have seen druken people having a pee on the street)
9. You realize that dinner time is 6pm
10. You see people drunk in the streets at 8pm.
11. You see old people getting pissed in Potters Wheel (Wetherspoon)
12. You are kicked out of a pub at 11.30 pm
13. You have learned the difference between pasty and pastry and you've tried a Cornish Pasty.
14. You see people wearing flipflops and shorts even though it's raining.
15. You've said "cheers mate" more than twice
16. You've tried to buy a traditional coffee maker and you've failed.
17. You realize the most important religion is not Christianity but Rugby.
18. You wonder how people wash their intimate parts without a "bidé"
19. You wonder why the concept of "proper curtains" hasn't arrived to this country yet. (This thought hits you from day 1, all houses have the same white curtains. Needless to say that my mother also complained about this lol)
20. You hear and say "sorry" at least 10 times a day.
21. You've seen naked women on the second (and first, and third...) page of the daily newspapers.
22. After a failed conversation with someone in the street you wonder whether he/she was speaking in Scottish, Gaelic, Welsh, Cornish, Irish or English.
23. You see Tesco as an important social meeting point.
24. You have struggled trying to convert from Farenhait to Celcius, from Miles to Kilometers and from Pounds to Euros, but you know a pint is 0.56 litres. (Actually, I was fine with the Celcius but the weight scale I bought has Stone on it and not Kg! - still struggling with that!)
25. You have been driving on the wrong side of the road (I still have no guts to drive in this country; actually most of the time I am still scared to cross the road!)
26. You have seen old people smiling at you in the street
27. You have been asked for "some spare change" by an unknown person.
28. You see 3 kebab shops and 2 indian restaurants in every street. (and two chinese)
29. You've had a Full English Breakfast with bacon, eggs, sausages, beans, etc and you think it's amazing
30. You've had a burger, chips and beans on the same plate.
31. You've thought more than ten times that the car you have just seen was driven by nobody
32. You have tried to destroy the fire alarm at least a couple of times. (I haven't tried that...certainly thought about it more than twice!)
33. You have wondered about the wildlife present in your carpet. (and in my curtains and in the corner ...)
34. You see a group of people wearing fancy dresses every time you go out at night.
35. You have been in a pub next to a really drunk lady, that you think could even be your grandma.
36. You think you're going to visit a palace, a castle or a chapel and you only see a few old stones.
37. You realize that taking a cab is almost free (according to a certain person from Norway). (Actually no it is not!)
38. You're outside and don't even notice it's raining anymore, because it is just simply normal to you by now.
39. You realise that any kind of food can be eaten with anything else, no matter how wierd the combination is.
40. You have six months of holidays in a year. (No, I don't :( )
41. In case you need to get your hands clean, you realise that you only have two options: boil your hands in water near to 90º or see how they become two beauty ice-cubes.
42. You have a sink in your bedroom.
43. You can't buy shoes in any shop because they all smell like feet!!
44. You find machines in pubs in which you can buy condoms, vibrators, lubricant and even a Hair Straightener.
45. Your house and surroundings are full of rubbish bags because rubbish is collected just once per week.
46. You ask for a double whisky in a pub and the quantity you're given is just ridiculous!!
47. You see potatoes everywhere, in all different forms and shapes, i.e. boiled potatoes, jacket potatoes, smashed potatoes, chips, crisps, etc. (and after a while you start making them yourself :P)
48. You realize that burping in the library is something normal. (Sorry, haven't been in the library...I usually go to the computer lab :P)
49. You realize that no matter how weird the clothes you're wearing are, people just won't care.
50. You have hoovered your room at least once.
51. You shake the hand of someone of the opposite sex you've just met.
52. You drink as much tea with milk as you drink beer (at least 5 times a day). (Actually this doesn't apply to me lol)
53. You realize that being served alcohol in an academic seminar is completely normal.
54. You learn that 4 cups of tea per day is good for you.
55. You have stopped questioning why there are carpets even in the bathrooms (Not in the university, tho)
56. You know there is a fair chance your house is filled with mould.
57. Your floors and roofs are in serious decay after years of leakages and no maintenace.
58. You have a fire exit in your house.
59. You find yourself breaking into an english accent when trying to order a cuppa tea.
60. You have mushrooms in your toilets.
61. You see daffodils growing EVERYwhere, all year round.
62. You find yourself discussing what make of baked beans is the best...and it doesn't scare you
63. You see all four seasons in one day. first sun (oh blessed sun!), then rain, then snow, then hail. and sun, and rain, then...aaaah!
64. "hello/hey, how are you?" is replaced by "you alright?"
65. You find yourself going out partying wearing only a little top... and it's raining! And above all it's normal because everybody is dressed like that!!
66. You realize that burping in the middle of a lecture is something normal. (hmmm, not really! oh wait, I used to have a burping lecturer lol)
67. It's only five and every single shop is closed!
68. You've bought something at Argos!! (haven't yet, but most probably will :P)
69. You think it's normal to sleep on a mattress which was considered old-fashioned crap in Europe 30 years ago.
70. You don't go out to go out but to get drunk.
71. You don't mind the food anymore...
72. Subway is the healthiest meal you can think of
74. You find normal that in clubs the ladies are full of screaming semi-naked drunk (British) girls trying to do their make up and hair again and again.
75. You feel like being a nun when you wear trousers or skirt longer than your knees and tops to go out
76. You go to the lectures just for sleeping..lying on the table, chair..it doesnt matter!!!
77. You discover that a simple ticket of the train can vary from a price of 8£ to 30£.. for the same train, time and journey
78. You realize that you have never seen an English Restaurant
79. You move into a house and realise that you can't open the windows!! (or that they open so wide that anyone can enter the house thru the window!)
80. You're in the top back part of the bus, and a 9 years old chav asks you for a lighter (thankfully hasn't happened yet lol)
81. You realize that British people are queuing politely everywhere except at the bar counter
82. You discover there is a "potato" function on the microwave!!!
83. You phone a Hospital emergency service at night and you are speaking to a non-medical person on duty who will ask you a lot of questions and then decide if its an emergency. This person will even ask to speak to the almost unconcious patient and ask you to describe whether the person looks pale, the eyes are yellow, blue, red.Any bleeding...blah blah and then tell you that a doctor will only be available at 9.00 in the morning...(after an hour of questioning) and you are worried that the patient might die in the meantime but you have no other options :-(
84. Your umbrellas have got broken at least twice and you are still hoping not to break the new one even if it's May!
85. You see your housemate ordering chinese food or pizzas three times a week
86. You realize that you can get decent (dark, rye, healthy) bread in every European country except for the UK...and no, Toast is not considered a proper kind of bread.....
87. You are no longer suprised to see fans and radiators on at the same time (either in February or June!)
88. You are certainly annoyed by their stupid sockets
89. You realize that every product you buy "may contain trace of nuts"
90. Your sentences begin with.."to be honest"..
91. You are addressed as "treacle, sugarplumb, darling, sweetheart, love, ...." (and all other versions of nicknames in that genre you normally only call your wife/lover) by the staff in supermarkets, pubs and restaurants.
92. You are affected by CCTV paranoia.
93. You can see, on a saturday night, Dancing on ice, strictly come dancing, pop idol, x factor, big brother, big brother celebrity, I'm a celebrity get me out of here (and so on) simultaneously!
94. You are not surprised to see an old lady, her daughter and her granddaughter dancing together in a club.
95. You talk about the weather all the time.
96. You hear "WHA" instead of W-H-A-T ! and "THA" instead of T-H-A-T!!! (and now, I even say it!)
97. You have asked to borrow ten "quid" instead of ten pounds from someone
98. It is 23.45 and the bell rings in the pub. Last orders mate, lets have 2pints each...
99. You have to pull a string to switch on the light or get the water from the shower!!
100. You realize "taking the piss out" of someone is not a medical procedure
101. You realize everybody just gets crazy in a club when Dj plays Mr. Brightside (The Killers), Place your hands (Reef), Don´t Stop me Now (Queen)!!LOL or the Baywatch theme...
102. You have to mind the gap between the train and the platform.
103. Every door is a "fire door" that you have to "keep shut".
Showing posts with label swearing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label swearing. Show all posts
Monday, 6 July 2009
Tuesday, 21 April 2009
On Sounding Bri'ish
Sarah called a few days ago to ask about something related to translating and pronouncing an Arabic word. After several sentences were exchanged she said in a frustrated tone, and I quote, "Iman you sound so British, it is scary" to which I replied "well I have been in this country for six effing months; it is about time I sound Bri'ish* and say that I ea'* po'a'os* ... "; she didn't like my answer and pointed out that I completely lost my accent and that I don't even sound Lebanese anymore! lol
I don't find that I don't sound Lebanese anymore; I certainly haven't lost my Lebanese accent when speaking Arabic (true Lebanese can never loose their Lebanese accents :P lol); though now I tend to speak full Arabic sentences with minimum use of English words which is weird for a Lebanese lol
* Bri'ish = British, ea' = eat, po'a'os = potatos: to sound like a true British you must swallow your t's and never say them :S (the only exception is if the t was the first letter of the word!)
P.S: Yes, I am now using the word effing instead of f***ing. Sheena doesn't like it; she says that I might as well say f***ing.
I don't find that I don't sound Lebanese anymore; I certainly haven't lost my Lebanese accent when speaking Arabic (true Lebanese can never loose their Lebanese accents :P lol); though now I tend to speak full Arabic sentences with minimum use of English words which is weird for a Lebanese lol
* Bri'ish = British, ea' = eat, po'a'os = potatos: to sound like a true British you must swallow your t's and never say them :S (the only exception is if the t was the first letter of the word!)
P.S: Yes, I am now using the word effing instead of f***ing. Sheena doesn't like it; she says that I might as well say f***ing.
Friday, 19 December 2008
Changes & من عاشر قوماً أربعين يوماً
An Arabic proverb states that if someone lives amongst a group of people for 40 days he becomes one of them ... or he would leave them because he couldn't adapt ...
I have been living here for almost three months now and so I think it is time for me to write down some of the changes that I have been going through
1) Biggest and most important change: swearing! I never sweared in public before (except if I am really angry and only my close friends are around). It is not lady-like in my country and people would be insulted if someone swears around them. Guys swear but never in front of girls - out of respect to the girls present. My brothers don't swear in front of me and one of them uses the word fudge instead of fuck when needed. Fuck is a very expressive word and I have been using it a lot recently. There were also some times when the word fuck can be heard more than a few times in sentences coming out of my mouth, for example (please go to point 2 if you would feel insulted from reading the examples :P):
oh, for fuck's sake
The fucking broken laptop screen will cost me 100 fucking pounds to replace
I have to fucking finish 5 fucking assignments in the Christmas vacation - that is only 3 fucking weeks; and i haven't done fuckall
Well, you get the point (i am having second thoughts on publishing that now out of respect for the people at home hehehe)
2) Second most important change: my accent! I have officially lost my beautiful American-like accent and I speak more like the British now - wait make that like the Bri'ish now. OK, so I can't yet be mistaken for an English but the changes to my accent are noticeable to everyone and to me as well. My flatmate Sheena commented on this change by saying "At least now you're speaking proper English" hehehe
I am also using some British English words now, the most common of which are: cheers (an informal Thank you), ini' (= isn't it), quid (=pounds), ... I wonder when I will stop saying elevator and start saying lift instead hehehe ;)
Again, من عاشرقوما اربعين يوما صارت لهجته مثل لهجتهم :p
I have been living here for almost three months now and so I think it is time for me to write down some of the changes that I have been going through
1) Biggest and most important change: swearing! I never sweared in public before (except if I am really angry and only my close friends are around). It is not lady-like in my country and people would be insulted if someone swears around them. Guys swear but never in front of girls - out of respect to the girls present. My brothers don't swear in front of me and one of them uses the word fudge instead of fuck when needed. Fuck is a very expressive word and I have been using it a lot recently. There were also some times when the word fuck can be heard more than a few times in sentences coming out of my mouth, for example (please go to point 2 if you would feel insulted from reading the examples :P):
oh, for fuck's sake
The fucking broken laptop screen will cost me 100 fucking pounds to replace
I have to fucking finish 5 fucking assignments in the Christmas vacation - that is only 3 fucking weeks; and i haven't done fuckall
Well, you get the point (i am having second thoughts on publishing that now out of respect for the people at home hehehe)
2) Second most important change: my accent! I have officially lost my beautiful American-like accent and I speak more like the British now - wait make that like the Bri'ish now. OK, so I can't yet be mistaken for an English but the changes to my accent are noticeable to everyone and to me as well. My flatmate Sheena commented on this change by saying "At least now you're speaking proper English" hehehe
I am also using some British English words now, the most common of which are: cheers (an informal Thank you), ini' (= isn't it), quid (=pounds), ... I wonder when I will stop saying elevator and start saying lift instead hehehe ;)
Again, من عاشرقوما اربعين يوما صارت لهجته مثل لهجتهم :p
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